Advice is a Proofreading room of mine. The aim of its room is to figure out a more appropriate and a more effective word and sentence in everyday language use, both in English, and Indonesian, also many languages to come…
I would prefer to choose “Inexact” and “Exact” term than “Wrong” and “Right”, because in my dictionary, there is no right and wrong in language use, we all can use the same term, as long as it’s use on the right place.
Fahreza C P
- Being one of the student in my Senior High School who was eligible. (Inexact)
Being one of the eligible student (Exact)
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Insight: You don’t need to explain which educational stage you are now, as long as the context that you were talking about is still on that topic, and as people have also already known on which stage your education now, they might not be confused. You can take both type of sentence, but I just can make sure to you that the second one is more effective.
- Those young indonesian who have achieved so many things at such a young age. (Inexact)
Those indonesian who have achieved so many things at such a young age (Exact)
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Insight: You don’t need two young words there. If you want to replace young word as a subject, you can just end it with the sentence “So many things.” If you want to replace young word as a complementary, you can change “young indonesian” to “those indonesian”.
- He called out her name (Inexact)
He called her name (Exact)
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Insight: Both called and called out mean to have spoken in a loud voice, so the word out is unnecessary.
- Their exactly identical luggage was confusing (Inexact)
Their identical luggage was confusing (Exact)
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Insight: Identical means exactly the same, so the word exactly is unnecessary.
- They’re really very excited (Inexact)
(1) They’re really excited (Exact)
(2) They’re very excited (Exact)
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Insight: Both really and very mean extremely. Either word can be removed from the sentence.
- The forecast calls for warm weather in the days to come for the foreseeable future (Inexact)
(1) The forecast calls for warm weather in the days to come (Exact)
(2) The forecast calls for warm weather for the foreseeable future (Exact)
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Insight: Both in the days to come and for the foreseeable future mean in the near future. Either phrase can be removed from the sentence.
- Martin taste in music is better than Bill (Inexact)
(1) Martin taste in music is better than Bill’s taste (Exact)
(2) Martin taste in music is better than Bill’s (Exact)
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Insight: Martin’s taste in music should be compared with Bill’s taste in music, not with Bill himself. You can choose both sentences, but the second option is more effective.
- I went to get a drink before just the intermission ended (Inexact)
I went to get a drink just before the intermission ended (Exact)
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Insight: Just should precede before, the word it describes. The sentence loses its meaning if it is instead placed after before.
- I think I did good on the exam (Inexact)
I think I did well on the exam (Exact)
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Insight: Well is an adverb that modifies the verb did and is correct. Good is an adjective and is incorrect.